Dating a straight girl
Nothing puts a girl’s libido on pause like an overshare.Because you’re a lesbian, there’s an automatic assumption that you’re cheap. And while there are certain women who’ll need to change panties when you pay for the 0 dinner, for most women it’s the thought that counts.In particular, don’t use your exes as some kind of weird parable for what you actually want from someone. If you want someone who can articulate their feelings like a big girl, just tell your date that.Don’t tell them some long, awkward story about how your ex was emotionally constipated and couldn’t say “I love you.” Save that shit for your therapist or your bartender.Think of your date as your canvas; it’s going to say a lot about you.Are you creative enough to do some Googling to find an interesting restaurant followed by an out-of-the-box activity?
I’m going to skip over the obvious stuff, such as showering beforehand and not texting during the meal (although with some dates I’ve been on, these things weren’t as apparent as one might think/hope).Don’t say “we should hang out.” If you want to ask someone out, ask them out.Don’t allude to some hypothetical situation in which you could share airspace with them.This is a tricky one because it needs to be signposted all over with big signs saying ‘DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT AND WILL RESPOND TO FEELINGS DIFFERENTLY.’ There are a few baselines – as the great Captain Awkward says, people who like you will act like they like you – but this stuff is subject to an immense and absurd degree of individual variation.Really, if you like someone the only way to actually know her feelings for sure is to take a deep breath and ask her.
Doing this doesn’t mean that you’re too available or that you want to marry her.